Above all else, I am a singer. Music has been the backbone of my life and I am incredibly blessed to have the ability to sing and make my living from it.
Life in general though has been difficult. I lost my Mum in a car crash when I was 4 and the ripples that spread from that disaster have reached into every aspect of my life. She died on July 4th 1968, when she was only 28. Many people go through much and more, but this is my story and it began with that big loss.
I believe that, because I didn’t have her presence and experiences to guide me, I floundered for a long time. I made good and bad decisions, but I learnt from hard experience, without support, rather than in the folds of a family that I felt loved me. Don’t get me wrong, I still had my Dad and my brother, then later, a step mum, sister and little brother, but I felt that I didn’t belong.
Since leaving home at 18 years old, I have searched for meaning, love and belonging. I have achieved some amazing things and been to some amazing places. I have also been in the depths of despair on my knees and at times, have had to remind myself to breath as sorrow can sometimes suffocate. Along with my husband, we have flown high in business only to lose it all because of a worldwide recession, but more than all that, I have learnt about life.
Childhood, whether happy or sad, is a fraction of life. It shapes us initially and we learn, or not, skills from our parents. But, our lives are in our hands and it’s up to us to change the things we don’t like, adapt to the circumstances around us, learn from our mistakes and move on.
In my case, there is a little of me that has spent too much time moving on, perhaps even running away. Now is the time to stop and relook at the things in my life that have always made me happy. Surprisingly for me, along with my music, I also found writing. Whether it be lyrics, poems, stories from my childhood or coursework for exams, I always loved it and I was good at it. Now is the time to practice those skills, learn more, finish my novel and bore everyone that wants to read about my journey.