Two months have flown by without posting a blog. Why? I hear you cry. My crazy life, is the answer.
My summer was a chaotic one. My husband flew out to Germany and my daughter flew in to keep me company for most of the month. In tow, were my granddaughter and grandson. Oh my goodness, I have definitely forgotten what it’s like to have children around. I spent most of the time up to my ankles in the debris they dropped behind them wherever they went. The TV was constantly on with mind bendingly worrying violent kids programs. We lost wall lights, car keys, bowls and plates. We found holes in walls, expensive digital cameras used as toys and leftover food everywhere as well as lovely pen drawings all over my cream leather sofas. I also now have a challenging laptop which has developed Alzheimer’s after being dropped on the floor from the dining table, because it was in the way of the TV.
I still love them deeply, but I was very relieved when I deposited them through the departures gates at the airport.
The following day I flew out to Germany to join my husband for a few days. I was genuinely exhausted before going and having spent 3 days sightseeing in the wonderful city of Dresden, came home needing a months sleep.
I discovered during this time that, not only do I need peace and quiet to write, I also need calm and to be in a happy place. My brain needs space to think. Ideas and words need to whirl around and assemble on a blank screen. The needs of others dominate my thought patterns and the rule of once a mum, always a mum, resurfaces. I cannot help but care for the people around me when they need it, and my creativity, thought processes and ideas are stifled until they are silent. Sleep is also pretty essential.
Writing makes me incredibly happy, but instead of finishing my novel over the summer, as I had planned, I feel frustrated that it remains incomplete and that frustration has led me to delay getting back to it. I now know there are going to be times when writing is impossible because life gets in the way. Time does not allow me to do everything I want and quite often there is little enough of it, to do the things I need.
Nevertheless, here I am again. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I have sat down and written something. It may be short, it may be waffle and written in a few minutes when I have a break, but it is here and just writing these few word is a cathartic exercise. Onwards and upwards and watch this space.