Trials of separation.

Today is the last day before my husband disappears off to Germany for a month.  We have always been pretty insular in our relationship.  We have fantastic friends but we love to be in each other’s company the most.  I know of many marriages where people make excuses to spend time away from each other and if that works for them, then fine.  It doesn’t work for us.

During our 16 years, we have always worked together and so can often be in each other’s company for 24 hours a day, but apart from the odd bicker; because we don’t row; we are happy with that scenario.  A month apart therefore, is very difficult to cope with.

The last time he went, I must confess, I had a great time.  I was busy with work so I couldn’t mope around and I had lots in invitations from friends to join them for dinner.  I arranged a girly night and had some girlfriends round for a Big Girls Pyjama Party.  It was brilliant, just like being a kid again but with alcohol.  We had facials, manicures, pedicures, music, and giggles.  In fact, when my hubby cane home, I was quite put out at having to stop the constant socialising.  I had fun.

This time, my daughter has decided to spend most of the month with me.  She is bringing my granddaughter and grandson and has informed me that I am going to teach them to swim while they are here.  Apparently I taught her and her sister but Wierdly, I have no recollection of that, but, if being Nana is teaching them to swim, that’s a good job done.  We will have fun and it will be great to spend more time together than we have been able to in years.  We are still going to have a girly afternoon or two though, where the girls of the pyjama party persuasion will be invited.  I think maybe the Big Girls BBQ.

I will fill my time with fun stuff and enjoy my grandchildren, but I hate this last day.  Tomorrow’s trip to the airport and the goodbye for a month is looming at me.  The thought of coming home to an empty house is horrible and so are all the extra jobs I have to take on because they are usually his.

I know the dogs will be unsettled because a pack member has gone and I will have to change their routine so that they sleep in my room.  That’s not because they won’t stay in their own bed, but because I keep hearing odd noises when I am on my own.  If the dogs bark, I have something to worry about.  If they don’t, I know all is well.  Unless I have deaf dogs.   Since we met, my husband and I have had a phrase.  “I know I can live without you, but I don’t want to.” and after all our years together, that is still the case. Mushy? Maybe, but true.

The time nears and the packing starts.  Maybe one day when I am making money through writing, either he won’t have to go or I can go with him.  Who knows, but for now, we have to go through this ritual and I live in awe of the people who do this on a regular basis.  We are pack and separation is unnatural.

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One thought on “Trials of separation.

  1. Understand the feeling of loss you are not experiencing…..that’s a bit how it feels isn’t it!! I too struggle with my husband working away as you know. People tell me it gets easier…..it doesn’t!! I’m hoping he will find a job in actual ‘nice’ country and then we can join him…..living in hope, living in hope!!! Hear if you need me xx

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