It is AGES since I wrote in this blog. Why? Good question.
The short answer is that life was too busy. I was too busy. I have felt lost in rushing.
I started writing for and creating a magazine and that took over. Instead of doing 7 hours a week for a few articles, it became all consuming. I enjoyed it and it was a huge learning curve, but I had no time for me, despite clearing other work out of the way to do it.
I actually thought I would leave blogging behind for good, but the need to write down my thoughts and discoveries about life has become all consuming once again, so here I am.
So what have I learned? Oh my word! How long do you want to read for?
It never ceases to amaze me that nothing stays the same for long. Life just happens around you and you deal with it. You have no choice. I thought many times that things couldn´t get worse and was wrong, but on the other hand, things couldn´t get better and they did. I am both blessed and struggling, found and lost, grateful and demanding, all at the same time.
We are experiencing a sad time at the moment. We are waiting for the call that my husbands stepfather has died. He is in the final hours of his life, in hospital. He has been ill for sometime and is very old. There is a knot in my stomach and a dread for this occurrence. Death is never easy to deal with and it brings tears. We are so worried about Mum and how she will cope without him. Their´s is a love story of many years and they have been devoted to one another. I am an em-path, so I feel other people´s pain keenly and it´s hard not to take that on myself.
However, I cannot help but be so grateful to this man for the life of my husband. He will pass over but he will be remembered and appreciated, even if we didn´t always respect his views.
He has been the biggest influence in my husbands life, because he found him as a baby. Imagine a tiny baby, 5lb in weight at 5 weeks old, left in the 1950´s equivalent of a workhouse and there you have it. In walks a Doctor, who has been asked to find a baby for the best friend of his wife. That was Ian´s mum. She was unable to have a baby and this doctor had offered to help.
He had a strict criteria. He believed in genetics and wanted to look at the parentage of all the babies in the unit. He found this tiny little boy was the son of an accordion player and singer, in the pubs and clubs of London, and his father was an engineer. The baby was filthy and undernourished. He took him home where he and his wife bathed, fed and clothed him, and personally hand him over to Mum.
My husband is a professional piano player and singer, and he can make a computer make a cup of tea. I believe in genetics! I´m a convert.
So thank you Dad, so much, for the life of my husband. Because of you, he lives, breathes, has a great life, has beautiful children and walks beside me every day. I celebrate your life, because you gave him his.
I think that most people now have heard of the book and film called The Secret. It´s all about how to manifest what you want in your life and I read this book about 10 years ago. I tried to implement it as much as I could, but found it impossible. I wasn´t in the right mind, place, emotion, whatever, it just didn´t seem to work for me. We still lost our business, house, life as we knew it.
Looking back over the last 10 year, however, I realise it has been working. Because I read that book, the universe, spirit, God, energy has changed and I have been learning so much. If only I wasn´t so stubborn, maybe I could have learned it all sooner, but that old adage of ¨better late than never¨kicks in around now.
My journey is ongoing and I promise to share as I go along. Suffice it to say that gratitude and serving other people is key now. Love is all. I thought I knew that, but what I knew wasn´t enough. There is an energy that comes from loving and I´m not just talking about being in love. It comes from loving yourself, loving people, loving animals, loving the planet and loving the beauty that surrounds you. It´s finding gratitude in every day. Be grateful for just being able to breathe when everything around you seems to be falling apart.
And then there´s plastic!
Yeah, I have done a weird subject flip.
Did you watch the BBC documentary, The Blue Planet II, with the young whale playing with/ingesting the plastic bucket?
This disturbed me so much. I have experienced plastic pollution in the Red Sea whilst in Egypt and was disgusted by that too. Many other documentaries and News stories of animals dying and, perfect condition lolly sticks from the 1970´s being washed up on beaches, has led me to take a stand.
Plastic has got to do one out of my life!!
My husband is very worried. He has seen my “fads” before, but this is different. I am a vegan, have been for years and I guess he finally realises this isn´t a fad. We do not need to use plastic, so I have been looking for alternatives.
We´ve stopped buying water in plastic bottles. We store water in glass ones now. I use tin foil instead of cling film, shop with reusable bags, but although we´ve cut down, we haven´t cut it out. Food is packaged in plastic, plastic bags are given to put your fruit and veg in at supermarkets, detergents are packaged in plastic. Even water filters are coated in plastic. It´s crazy.
You´ve heard of stone age and iron age, we are the plastic age and we need to re-educate ourselves.
So, my next purchases are bamboo charcoal and coriander to filter my water, mesh bags to buy my loose veggies in the supermarket and hessian bags for shopping, because even the reusable ones break down and become unusable in the sun.
That´s it for now, but I´ll be back.